The Manager’s Imposter Syndrome: Are You Giving the Right Feedback??
One of the hardest parts of being a manager is knowing whether you're truly helping your team grow. When feedback is met with resistance, doubts creep in. Read on to find out more on how to resolve it
A key part of managing is mentoring—helping your team grow without doing the work for them. Over the years, I’ve seen many kinds of managers. Some care only about results, some focus on strategy, and some micromanage. But the best ones? They genuinely want their people to succeed and guide them toward their goals.
Of course, just like there are different kinds of managers, there are different kinds of employees. Some actively seek mentorship, eager to learn. Others resist feedback, seeing it as criticism rather than an opportunity to improve. And most fall somewhere in between, their receptiveness shaped by their experience, the manager’s approach, and the trust between them.
The Manager’s Imposter Syndrome
One of the trickiest parts of being a manager is knowing whether the feedback you give is truly valuable. I call this the manager’s imposter syndrome—questioning whether what you're telling your team is actually right or helpful.
As managers, we see things employees might not: how leadership perceives them, their growth potential, and the gaps they need to close. But when you give feedback—especially the kind that asks them to change—it’s often met with pushback. That’s natural. People believe they’re acting rationally, and if something isn’t working, the problem must be external, not them.
For example, say you tell an employee that their approach in meetings makes them come across as dismissive. You provide examples, but they insist they’re just being direct and others need to toughen up. Or maybe they set a sky-high bar for their work, producing amazing results but leaving them frustrated when others don’t match their level. They see the issue as others needing to step up, rather than recognizing that not everyone will reach that level—and that success also means learning to work effectively with different types of people. When feedback is rejected like this, self-doubt kicks in. Am I wrong? Am I being too harsh? Should I let this go?
How to Give the Right Feedback with Confidence
Over time, I’ve found a few strategies that help ensure I’m guiding my team in the right direction:
Look for patterns. One-off incidents aren’t worth overanalyzing. But when a behavior keeps recurring and negatively impacts an employee, it’s worth addressing. Keep notes so you can track trends over time.
Prioritize by impact. Not every issue needs immediate fixing. Focus on the one behavior that’s having the biggest impact on the employee's growth. Bringing up too many issues at once can feel overwhelming and make it harder for them to stay open to feedback.
Use concrete examples. People are more receptive when they see real-world examples of their behavior. Instead of saying “You need to work on how you handle disagreement,” show them a specific moment and explain how it came across.
Don’t wait for formal reviews. Annual feedback cycles are useful, but if you see something that needs addressing, bring it up sooner. Early conversations prevent small issues from becoming big problems.
Listen to peer feedback. If multiple people are noticing the same issue, that’s a strong signal it’s real. Sometimes, problems surface through informal conversations before you even ask for input.
Have a trusted sounding board. Sometimes, you just need to talk things through to reassure yourself that you’re seeing things clearly. If a piece of feedback feels tricky, discuss it with your manager or HR. They can offer perspective and ensure you’re approaching it in a fair and constructive way. Just remember—feedback discussions are sensitive, so it’s best to keep these conversations within that small circle.
When an employee finally “gets it” and makes a change, it’s incredibly rewarding—like watching your child figure out something they have been struggling with. It takes patience, but when it clicks, you know you’ve truly helped them grow. And that’s what great management is all about.